on orcas

“Real. Amazing.”

This vague but real slogan belongs to none other than SeaWorld. A branch of SeaWorld Entertainment, Inc., SeaWorld has been a powerhouse theme park and entertainment company for over 50 years – its mission to bring personal, interactive, and educational experiences that foster creativity and imagination with nature and help people around the world celebrate and connect with the natural world. You can see shows with killer whales, dolphins, and sea lions. You can watch penguins, sea turtles, and even polar bears. And you can see them all for only 55 dollars per person.

On my fifth birthday, my parents took me and a few friends to SeaWorld in San Diego, California. To a freshly turned five-year-old, SeaWorld is its own wonder of the world, trumping even the likes of LEGOLAND, my top two theme parks at the time. We camped in the special, designated birthday section of the park, complete with tied down balloons, kazoos, and birthday streamers. My memory of the day is admittedly hazy – the memory of my fifth year on Earth is fragmented. Recounting a memory from my adolescent years is like swimming in a pool, when a drop of water slips underneath your goggles. That one drop of water obscures your vision just enough to make you question if you are really seeing the pool clearly.

One of the special accommodations SeaWorld provides for birthday guests is that they get to meet Shamu the Killer Whale. Not the real Shamu, a man in a Shamu costume.[1] It didn’t matter to me – in my eyes he was equal to the famous orca. We took a photo together – one that’ll be cherished forever – and he gave me a small, stuffed Shamu, one you could purchase at the gift shop. I still have that Shamu, and since then, killer whales have been one of my favorite animals.

I love their simple, sleek appearance. The water glides smoothly over their skin as it glistens under the sun. Killer whales can swim up to 30 miles per hour. They continually shed their skin while swimming to avoid drag and decrease water resistance. They are also made up of my two favorite colors, black and white.[2] Mostly black on the top halves of their bodies and white on the bottom half, I always forget that their eyes are not the two big white spots that look exactly like eyes.

They are smart animals that live, breed, migrate, and hunt together in pods. Twelve years later, when I watch the documentary Blackfish,[3] I have my heart slowly broken as I learn in detail the tragic lives of captive killer whales held in SeaWorld locations across the globe.

Killer whales, also called orcas, blackfish, or grampus, are the largest members of the dolphin family. They are grouped in the order Cetacea, which includes whales, dolphins, and porpoises. Their Latin name is Orcinus Orca, Orcinus derived from Orcus, a Roman god of the netherworld, referring to an orca’s killer instinct, and orca meaning whale. “Orca” literally means “the shape of a barrel or cask,” referring to an orca’s body shape. They live in extremely cold waters, most often found in Antarctica, Iceland, Norway, and in the Atlantic and Pacific Northwest.

A killer whale’s diet varies from pod to pod, but they usually eat all kinds of fish, seals, sea lions, dolphins, sharks, rays, octopi and squids, birds, and even other whales.[4] They hunt in groups, which is why they are they are also referred to as “the wolves of the sea.” Spanish natives call them Ballena asesina, which means “assassin whale.” So why does SeaWorld portray orcas as loving animals?

If you have not seen Blackfish, please watch it. This is not a sponsor or shameless plug for Blackfish - rather a strong, passionate recommendation. My eyes teared in certain moments in the film, and I am not one for getting misty-eyed, especially for a movie. It is disturbing to me how a film like Blackfish is made, hot news for a few months, then forgotten. Now the situation is arguably worse in that killer whale captivity remains a problem we are now aware of, but too impassionate to do anything about. Instead, the biggest news story since the release of Blackfish is not about how SeaWorld is being shut down, but that its longest tenured whale, Tillikum, has passed away.

On average, killer whales in captivity die around 13 years old. Male orcas can live up to 60 years old, and females up to 100.[5] They can swim up to 100 miles per day, which translates to about 1,208 laps around the perimeter of the tanks captive orcas are held in.[6] Captive orcas have been recorded and seen breaking their teeth gnawing at the iron bars of their tanks due to boredom, stress, and anxiety. For comparison, it’s as if a person lived their whole life in a regular-sized bathtub. Would you stay sane?

In the wild, orcas stay together all their lives. They are a family. In captivity, mothers are separated from their offspring shortly after birth – leading to longer and stronger bouts of depression, stress, and anxiety.[7]

It is something you can easily forget about, when orcas are giving SeaWorld trainers a piggyback ride, or splashing the audience on command, all for a few sardines. Killer whales are deceiving in that they do look like happy, friendly animals – at least to me. But they are quite scary.

They’re one of many dangerous animals that are portrayed as friendly, even though they are the opposite. Another example of this misunderstood perception is hippos. Hippopotamuses kill more people per year than sharks or crocodiles. In Africa, they can kill up to 3,000 people per year. They are not friendly creatures, yet games like “Hungry Hungry Hippos” instill a fun, loving quality in them. Beavers, raccoons, and deer also fall under this category. Beavers are extremely aggressive if they believe one is intruding upon their territory. Raccoons and deer, while generally docile, can be dangerous in the wrong situations. And to say killer whales are friendly is dangerous. Imagine swimming with a killer whale. The thought alone is scary, right? Ditto for hippopotamuses.

I would be lying to you if I said I am not biased toward killer whales. They hold a special place in my heart, ever since Shamu handed me a plush figurine of himself. I do not suppose people were swayed enough by the documentary, that they’d simply let killer whales roam free in the Arctic waters. Or seals, penguins, tigers, elephants, and giraffes for that matter. The only reason I can see keeping animals’ captive is for their preservation. To which point pandas, rhinoceroses, jaguars, and polar bears – all currently on the endangered species list - are all more justified in keeping. Most recently, the West African Black Rhinoceros was declared extinct by the International Union for Conservation of Nature (IUCN).[8]

Watching killer whales in the wild is astonishing. Their sheer size, intelligence, and elegance reminds me of the beautiful forms that life takes shape. Like any other animal, why shouldn’t they roam free among the Arctic waters? It’s a sad truth that human existence interferes with the natural Earth. It’s difficult for humans to coexist with the rest of the planet’s species without leaving destruction in its wake. But as powerful as we are, we must start applying ourselves to the right, humane efforts. Killer whales are only one example of how we can be better. I want someone else to grow up loving killer whales. Not from a SeaWorld show or commercial, but seeing them live among us. Planet Earth is one of many documentaries that offer a glimpse into a world we have no idea exists - a beautiful world not decorated with skyscrapers, landfills, and metropolises – one definitely not called SeaWorld.

Footnotes

[1] The original Shamu passed away in July 1971. Captured in August 1965, she was only the second female and fourth orca ever put in captivity.

[2] Killer whales have a bit of gray as well, a small patch behind their dorsal fin, referred to as their saddle or cape.

[3] Blackfish is a documentary, released in 2013, covering the life of Tillikum, SeaWorld’s longest tenured orca. The result is a startling reality that uncovers how unhealthy and ethically inhumane it is to keep these beasts in captivity – and why SeaWorld needs to be shut down. Unfortunately, Tillikum recently passed away, on January 6th, 2017. Male killer whales live up to 50-60 years old in the wild. Tillikum was 35.

[4] Recently, a pod of killer whales has been going on a whale killing spree in Monterey Bay. Humpback whales have migrated to Monterey Bay a few weeks earlier than usual this year, overlapping with the feeding season for orcas. For some reason, humpback whales interfere with killer whales when feeding – experts think it is a protective or altruistic instinct– but the killer whales rebel and attack the whales. As a result, seven whales have been found dead in a span of just 12 days.

[5] On SeaWorld’s website, they state that “the average life expectancy of southern and northern resident Killer Whales is about 29 years old for females and 17 years for males.”

[6] Per http://www.seaworldofhurt.com/features/8-reasons-orcas-dont-belong-seaworld/.

[7] In Blackfish, one of the stories told through recorded footage and data is SeaWorld’s attempt to transport one of the whale’s babies to another facility, separating the four-year old whale from her mother. When the baby was moved, the mother cried constantly throughout the night, attempting vocals nonstop for weeks. The vocals the mother voiced were never recorded or heard from a killer whale before, and it was concluded they were long range vocals.

[8] The IUCN is the world’s leading organization on endangered species, influencing, encouraging, and assisting societies around the world to conserve the integrity and diversity of nature and endangered animals.

Rotisserie Fantasy Baseball 101: Tips, Tricks, & Tactics

AN INTRODUCTION

Hello, there! Yes, you. Are you tired of placing last in your fantasy league year after year? Or maybe you always place second or third, but can never quite take home the gold? You’re tired of your league never considering you a challenge, and now you’re finally ready to take the most important virtual game known to man seriously? Well, then, you’ve come to the right place. Welcome to Zander’s Guide to Rotisserie Fantasy Baseball: Tips, Tricks & Tactics!

In this guide, I attempt to cover some of the basics with some more advanced stats and metrics thrown in. This serves as an introduction to the life of a fantasy baseballer, and no matter your experience level – whether you’re a newbie, intermediate, or expert, there’s something in here for everyone. By the time next season rolls around, you’ll be ready to become a fantasy champion!

FAQ

Q: Who are you to be giving me fantasy baseball advice?

A: Good question. Well, first off, I think if you’re truly serious about this (as you should be), you shouldn’t just listen to me. My word is not law. After this, you should consult multiple fantasy “experts” (Fantasy “experts” are people who dedicate their lives to the craft of winning this prestigious trophy, and like Apple “Geniuses,” simply believe they know what they’re talking about. It’s all pretty arbitrary and not too hard to figure out if you’re willing to put some time in). I’m just a baseball nerd who thinks I know what it takes to win.

Q: Okay, so what do you have to offer?

A: The strategies and winning ways I lay out for you here are based on information and experience I have accumulated and refined over the past six years. I usually play in only one league a season, although I have played up to three in a single year, all in different formats and sites (ESPN, CBS, Yahoo!). If you think three leagues are a lot, some people play in 10 different leagues – and they change the rules in each one just for fun! For this guide, I will be using ESPN leagues for examples and procedures, although most, if not all rules, apply to all leagues. I will also be assuming your league is comprised of ten members, so if your league is less or more than ten, I guess this guide isn’t for you (just kidding, I’m sure you can handle substituting appropriately).

Q: Do you win?

A: Ah, the money question. I’m glad you asked. Over my six years of fantasy baseballing, I have played a total of ten times over three leagues. I have won five times, and placed in the top three seven times. My track record is a great source of pride that no one will ever be able to strip away from me ever, because fantasy baseball is one of the most important things life offers.

Q: Whoa, that last statement is a little dramatic. Are you like a diehard fan or something?

A: Yes.

Q: Go figure. So, what’s included in this guide?

A: Each section below is aptly named, but among the topics are draft strategies and tips, different types of leagues, using the waiver wire/picking up players, and creating the best fantasy baseball team name, another outlet to display your creativity.

Q: Who’s your favorite team?

A: My own, because I spend hours and years of following to draft the perfect team every year. Oh, also, go Red Sox!

PICKING YOUR LEAGUE | FORMAT | DRAFT

This section is pretty standard protocol. Odds are if you’re in a league with friends, you have already determined these facets of your league. Firstly, there are many sites you can use to play. ESPN is my favorite – it’s the most universal, accessible, and user-friendly. Other sites like CBS and Yahoo! have busy layouts and annoying user bugs (and who has a Yahoo! account anymore?).

Once you choose your site, you can choose a format. There are two main categories for your fantasy format: rotisserie (roto) and points. As previously stated, this guide will only cover rotisserie. I have never played in a points league, and therefore, personally disqualify myself from giving any advice on the matter. If interested, http://games.espn.com/flb/resources/help/content?name=scoring-formats gives you a small description on every format on ESPN, so knock yourself out.

Oh, shoot. Hey. Hello? Oh, phew. Glad you’re back up. Didn’t mean literally. I’ll be more specific from now on.

ROTISSERIE - SEASON

Rotisserie, Season is the traditional, old school format. In roto leagues, you designate a number of categories to compete with against your league for the entire year. Most leagues compete with ten categories. The ten most common are in hitting - batting average (BA), runs (R), home runs (HR), runs batted in (RBI), stolen bases (SB) - and in pitching - earned run average (ERA), walks/hits allowed per inning (WHIP), wins (W), saves (SV), and strikeouts (K).

Cumulatively, ff at the end of the year your team has hit the most home runs, you earn 10 points. If you hit the second most home runs, you earn 9 points. Third most, 8 points, etc. If you’re last in a category, you only get one point.

Scoring works this way for all ten categories, so there are 100 possible points to earn. Scoring example! Let’s say you finish first in home runs (10 points), fourth in batting average (7 points), and third in RBI (8 points), you would have 25 points out of 30 possible points so far.

Pros: Rewards the most balanced, all around team throughout the entire season.

Cons: Final standings are decided rather quickly, making the league not as competitive near the end of the season. What this means is by the All-Star break (midpoint of the season), teams in the bottom half of the standings are very unlikely to finish first, as it’s simply too much ground to cover and too much of a deficit to overcome. Whereas in head-to-head, which I’ll cover next, the trophy is up for grabs in the playoffs!

ROTISSERIE - Head to Head (H2H)

Roto, head-to-head in fantasy sports is a format that rises in popularity every year. It works the same as season roto, but in head-to-head, you compare your stats to only one member of the league one week at a time, comparing the ten categories (you’re facing them head-to-head).

If you are stronger in more categories than your opponent at the end of the week, you get a win, or as the experienced players say, a dub (W). The season then goes by week to week, where you compile a record through the season. For example, if there’s 20 weeks in the fantasy season, your final record could be 15-5, 8-12, or 10-9-1, in the rare case of a tie.

Head-to-head also has another exciting element for fantasy baseball and sports – playoffs. Because scoring goes week by week, the last month or so is dedicated to playoffs, where you enter a bracket based on your record, and despite having the best record, your team still must prove it’s the best for the home stretch.

Pros: Some find it more fun facing off against friends head-to-head (i.e. bragging rights, pride). It keeps the competitive factor up late into the season, more than season roto.

Cons: A little more luck and strategy is involved. (i.e. One week, you could have a stronger team, but your opponent’s team just has an unbeatable week. The next week, your team can play poorly against another bad team. Suddenly, despite having the stronger team on paper, you’re 0-2 when you could be winning if you were playing season roto.)

Neutral: Head-to-head requires more attention, following daily news, and lineup maneuvering. This is a pro or con depending on how much time you’re willing to dedicate!

DRAFT STRATEGIES

Once you have your format and rules set, the most exciting part of the season comes next: the fantasy draft. There are usually 25 rounds in a draft – 25 picks. So, of course, the big question is: How do you draft a winning team? Over the years, I have used a draft strategy that is constantly being refined – some years it works, others I’m not as lucky. But heading into a draft, here’s my most important rules and things to remember, in no particular order.

-       Hitting, hitting, hitting. The first few rounds of the draft go by quickly, because there’s usually a strong consensus on the top players. Draft the dependable, premium hitting. Gather up players needed for batting average, home runs, RBIs, etc. Why hitting first? Pitching across baseball has vastly improved over the last couple decades. Strikeouts are going up through the roof. In 2015, 18 pitchers reached 200 strikeouts for the season, the most in history. What does this mean? You can wait until at least round 9 or 10 to draft a pitcher. Pitchers are unpredictable and injury prone. Over 30 major league teams, there are 150 employed starting pitchers. That is a lot of depth you can find later in your draft and the waiver wire.

-       Don’t draft players on impulse, but go with your gut. There will be some players you just have a good feeling about: you’re expecting a breakout season, they play for your favorite team, they’re underrated. Go with your gut. If you don’t draft players you want, you’ll lose interest in your team as the season goes on. Just don’t draft Yankees.

-       Don’t draft premier closers. These are the Aroldis Chapmans, Wade Davis’, and Kenley Jansens. My favorite fantasy writer has a famous saying, and that saying is, “SAGNOF!”, which stands for “Saves Ain’t Got No Face.” This means that you don’t need a big name closer to get saves. There are 30 employed closers at the beginning of every season. In the first month, at least ten of them lose their job. It’s a closer-pocalypse. However, it’s your job to pay attention and grab them off the waiver wire when new relievers are named the closer of their respective teams. This requires more research and time than some prefer. Also remember closers are pitchers, meaning they’re unpredictable. One of 2016’s best fantasy closers, Baltimore Oriole Zach Britton, injured himself a week into 2017, came back after a quick stint on the disabled list (DL), reinjured himself, and now looks to be out for at least a few months. So remember, preach patience, cause SAGNOF!

-       Just like closers, wait to draft your catcher. On ESPN’s Player Rater [1], the top offensive catcher last season (2016) was Jonathan Lucroy, who was the 115th best overall fantasy player. In other words, you can wait until round 11 before even thinking about drafting a catcher. In fact, there were only four catchers total in the top 200 last year (this equates to round 20). Why are catchers so low? Most sit out a fifth of their games, and they focus more on defense than offense. Odds are you can pick up a different catcher every week and be just fine. I like to call this the catcher carousel. For example, this year, 2017, for my catching slot I drafted Toronto’s Russell Martin who started the season 0-18. Then, I picked up Met Travis D’Arnaud, who promptly got injured. Then Padre Austin Hedges, who stopped hitting as soon as I picked him up. Now I own Dodger Yasmani Grandal, who I’ll stick with a bit longer, because he’s personally one of my favorite players. All of this to say catchers stink at hitting so you might as well own players you like!

-       Know your sleepers and busts heading into your draft. You want to know as much as you can heading into the draft, so when you see a player, you know already whether you want/plan to draft him. I’ll go over identifying sleepers and busts later.

CREATING THE PERFECT FANTASY TEAM NAME

Your fantasy draft is over. Great! Now, it’s time to come up with the perfect team name – funny, clever, succinct. Some people stick with one team name their entire fantasy careers. Some of my friend’s team names are “Super Rookie!” or “Hakuna Machado” every single year. Other people, myself included, change their name every year based on the team they draft. My favorite method of naming my fantasy teams is using wordplay with one of two of my players.

Take a look at your roster – first names, last names, baseball team names. Do any puns or creative epiphanies pop out to you? On my fantasy basketball team this past season, I owned Utah Jazz center Rudy Gobert (pronounced go-bear). My team name was “The Gobert Report.” On my fantasy baseball team last season, I owned Red Sox shortstop Xander Bogaerts. My team name was “Zander Bogaerts.” So, play with it year by year, and name it something you love! Mix and match names, different puns, check out some fantasy team generators (where you can plug in your roster and it spits out a bunch of different options). Some of the more popular ones you’ll find on other sites include, “Miggy, Miggy, Miggy, Can’t You See” (Miguel Cabrera), “Carry on my Heyward Son” (Jason Heyward), and The Bryce is Right (Bryce Harper). Keep playing around and trying new things and you’ll find one you’ll love soon enough!

USING THE WAIVER WIRE / PICKING UP FREE AGENTS

Now your team and team name is all set! Great job! Now, of course, this won’t be your team all season. Injuries happen; players lose their jobs; players underperform; trades occur. So, what do you do? You turn to your free agent wire. Many people win their leagues because of their player pickups during the season. So how do you know who to pick up? In a season roto, you want players that you think will accumulate the best numbers over the course of the season. In H2H roto, you can pick up players that are just hot (this is why H2H requires more daily attention, and perhaps more luck).

When I’m browsing the free agent pool, I have one word in mind: potential. How much potential does this player have? For example, take Seattle Mariner third basemen Kyle Seager. Since 2012, Seager has averaged 25 homers and 85 RBI with a .266 batting average, with no outlier seasons. In other words, Seager is about as safe a pick as you can get. You know you’re getting 25 homers and 85 RBI with an average around .260. While you’re safe in betting on those numbers, you also know you won’t be getting any better than those numbers. Safe players are good – they anchor your team. But championship teams are comprised of safe and risky players, i.e. the high potential players.

LOOKING AT HITTERS - IDENTIFYING SLEEPERS & BUSTS

the following applies to players on your free agent wire and to identifying sleepers for your draft.

When looking at hitters, these are the things I pay most attention to, in no particular order:

On Base Percentage (OBP) - A hitter’s OBP is important because it tells you how many chances the player is giving himself. The more you’re on base, the more chances you have at stealing bases, scoring runs, and having a high batting average. For example, as of writing this (May 15, 2017), Bryce Harper leads the league in OBP at .500, which explains why he also leads the league in runs scored.

Batting Average on Balls in Play (BABIP) – This statistic is very useful in determining a player’s luck. What this stat tells you is a player’s batting average when he puts the ball in play. This excludes every time he strikes out or walks. So, if a hitter’s current BABIP is .400, you can expect that number to regress and his batting average to drop a bit over time. On the other hand, if a player’s batting average is only .200 but his BABIP is .100, you can expect the hitter’s batting average to rise in the future because he’s just been unlucky. BABIP is a great stat in determining why a player’s batting average is exceeding or not meeting expectations. Take the Texas Ranger second basemen, Rougned Odor. His batting average is currently extremely low at .197, but his BABIP is .211, which is very, very unlucky. His career BABIP is .285, so you can expect better results soon. I also own him, so Rougned, please start playing well. Pretty please.

Lineup Spot – A hitter’s current lineup spot is also important because a hitter batting higher in the lineup will have more opportunities to score runs, while a player batting fifth or sixth will have more opportunities for RBIs. If a player is batting seventh or eighth, you can expect his stat-getting opportunities to be very low. A good example for this right now is Texas Ranger outfielder, Delino DeShields. DeShields is a good bet to get thirty steals, but manager Jeff Banister has been hitting him leadoff or ninth in the lineup. Obviously, batting him leadoff increases his fantasy potential drastically (from ownable everywhere to droppable in most leagues). Fun fact: I own DeShields as well, and Banister’s indecision with this has been giving me headaches. Headaches, I tell you!

Minor League Stats – Minor league stats expose the truth about some players. For example, if a minor-league player hits a bunch of home runs but strikes out a lot, you can expect him to be a power hitter for low average in the major leagues. By the by – www.baseball-reference.com is the best site to find all this information above and below. A good example of a power hitter for low average – Texas Ranger third basemen Joey Gallo. Dude either hits bombs or doesn’t hit anything. He is currently tied for fifth in homeruns this season with 12, but is batting an awful .195.

News – This is where your commitment as a fantasy baseballer comes into play. You need to be following some players’ narratives throughout the season to get the leg up on when they’ll be useful for your fantasy team. For example, you should know when a player is supposed to be coming off injury or promoted from the minor leagues.

Maybe a player suddenly gets hot, and he attributes his strong performance to an adjustment he made in his swing – this tweak might’ve made him now worth picking up, as it’s a more concrete reason than just having a good week.

Maybe a player hit 20 homeruns in the second half of the season last year and got off to another hot start this year. Perhaps he figured something out. Follow the news, you never know what will happen. Also, www.rotoworld.com will become your best friend. And never a bad idea to take a flyer on rookies! Last season, uber prospect Washington National Trea Turner hit 13 homeruns and stole 33 bases in only 73 games! This vaulted him up to 59th on the ESPN Player Rater at the end of the season. Heading into 2017, Turner’s average draft pick (ADP) was 17.7 overall on ESPN.

LOOKING AT PITCHERS - IDENTIFYING SLEEPERS & BUSTS

the following applies to players on your free agent wire and to identifying sleepers for your draft.

When looking at pitchers, these are the things I pay most attention to, in no particular order:

Fielding Independent Pitching (FIP) – FIP is my favorite stat to look at when evaluating a pitcher. FIP is similar to ERA, but FIP focuses only on the outcomes a pitcher has the most control over – strikeouts, walks, hit-by-pitches, and home runs. It removes results based on luck or chance like BABIP!

This is important when evaluating a pitcher because a pitcher could have an ERA around 5.00 (very high), but his FIP could be 2.00 (very good). This means he’s just had some bad luck, and it should normalize in time.[2] It is also a good indicator of future performance (If you expect a pitcher’s numbers to regress over time, you probably don’t want to own him while that happens. Vice versa, if a pitcher’s FIP is lower than his current ERA, you can probably pick him up or trade for him at lower value.).

Strikeout per 9 Innings Pitched (K/9) – This is a great stat to look at because all fantasy teams can use strikeouts. And odds are if a pitcher has a high strikeout rate, they have a low FIP too, very good odds for predicting a future breakout! Some of my hopeful breakouts for 2017: Vince Velasquez, Eduardo Rodriguez, Lance McCullers, & Michael Pineda. Why? Let’s look at just their ERAs, FIPs, and K/9 from 2016.

All very high strikeout rates, obviously. I believe these four will all be very good pitchers, and all except for Velasquez have gotten off to very strong starts. Come on, Vince, you’re making me look bad!

Walks/Hits Allowed Per Inning Pitched (WHIP) – This is also a good indicator for FIP (see how important FIP is?). A good WHIP is about 1.20 or lower. This means a pitcher is allowing very few baserunners (he doesn’t walk a lot of players; he doesn’t allow many hits; his BABIP is low). It will help your ratios, your ERA, your strikeouts, and general good fortune. If you want to see what a good WHIP looks like, just look at Clayton Kershaw’s entire career. To put how great Kershaw is in perspective, so far in 2017, he is 6-2 with a 2.43 ERA, 3.03 FIP, and 9.2 K/9, and it feels like he’s vastly underperforming (His FIP each year from 2014-16 were all under 2.00!).

News – Just like hitters, it’s important to be following why or how a pitcher is exceeding or not meeting expectations. Also, it’s very important to follow the closer carousel and who gets a starting job or not!

FANTASY TRADING

Now that you know what to look for in players, you can now try and trade for them! Trades in any sport make the game more exciting, and fantasy is no different. With trades, I’ll assume your league knows what they’re doing, so most trades will seem equal on paper. When trading, here are some things to pay attention to.

-       Avoid listening to hype. Just because a player had an incredible week doesn’t automatically make this his new standard. Don’t overpay and don’t get swept up in the idea that this player will hit five homers every week.

-       Buy low and sell high. This is the most popular cliché trading advice. And it’s true! Let’s take a look at Colorado Rockies shortstop Trevor Story. In 2016, Story made history as a rookie by hitting 10 homeruns in his first 21 games. Pretty impressive, right? Now comes the hard decision as a lucky owner in this scenario: Is he this good? Or is he a classic sell high? He would go on to have a great rookie season, with 27 homeruns in just 97 games – but that’s all he would play, as he would have to undergo thumb surgery and prematurely end his season two thirds of the way through.

-       Go with your gut. Have fun with trades. In all honesty, you really never know who will get the better side of the trade. Ideally, your trade benefits both sides. Is your team hitting way too many homers but your pitchers aren’t getting any saves? Trade a hitter for a closer. Bam. Easy, right (hint: no)?

-       The All-Star Break is more important than you may think. Some hitters are notorious for starting off slow and playing well after the break. Know who these players are, so you can trade for them at the All-Star Break and reap the rewards later. It will take some time to figure out who these players are. An example is Rockies outfielder Carlos Gonzalez. For some reason, he’s close to unownable in the first half of the season. But post-break, he’s an MVP, as the weather gets hotter and balls travel farther.

-       The All-Star Break is also make or break for pitchers. Buyer beware: be wary of trading for pitchers around this time. Many pitchers get tired as the season goes on, and their ERAs rise rapidly after the break. This is when you need to pick up the rookies who get called up in July, August and September, because their arms are relatively fresh and fueled by excitement-driven adrenaline.

ON SUPERSTITIONS & THE INTANGIBLES: THE LIFE OF A FANTASY BASEBALLER

Baseball is weird, lucky, and sometimes, indescribable. I think there are more superstitions, curses, and jinxes in baseball than any other sport.

The Red Sox had their 86 year-long “Curse of the Bambino.” The Chicago Cubs just broke their 108 year-long “Curse of the Billy Goat.” Hall of Famer Wade Boggs ate chicken before every game, believing he wouldn’t play well if he didn’t. Honus Wagner would change his bat after he got 100 hits with it. Nomar Garciaparra would readjust his gloves after every single pitch. Some hitters wouldn’t change their socks or underwear if they won, changing it only if they lost. Pitchers avoid stepping on the chalk baselines when walking off the mound. The Boston Red Sox outfielders huddle in center field after every win and perform a dance. This has become known as “Win, Dance, Repeat,” and is often a trending Twitter hashtag. Do superstitions impact fantasy? Maybe, maybe not, but either way, it’s another great aspect to the game.

In a game riddled with superstitions, it’s only natural for superstitions to transfer to fantasy as well. I have my own personal superstitions. One, I’m not allowed to own more than one Red Sox player at a time, for fear the team will start losing (it’s a poor time to believe this, as many Red Sox players are quite helpful to own). Two, I never own any Yankees if I can help it, simply because they’re the Yankees. Although I admit I wish I owned Aaron Judge this year.

There are other interesting intangible aspects to the game. Every year, now ex-ESPN Staff Writer Jayson Stark writes a column called “Strange, but True!” in which he detailed very random statistics and injuries that highlight some of the wacky, bizarre aspects of baseball, and just how truly in depth they can get.

As a newcomer to fantasy baseball, you’ll develop infatuations with certain players (Xander Bogaerts), and ineffable hate for others (Carlos Gonzalez). You’ll learn every team’s roster inside and out, major league and minor league. You’ll look at box scores for extremely boring games like the Twins vs. the Phillies. You’ll check Rotoworld every hour, and look at the waiver wire constantly. You’ll get better at trash talk, improve at constructing your championship squadron, and most of all, develop a new love for the game - all in the life of a fantasy baseballer.

Footnotes

1. The ESPN Player Rater is a system that attempts to rank the value of all players in fantasy baseball. One simple list that says who was the most valuable in terms of fantasy. For more information, go to http://www.espn.com/mlb/news/story?id=2897967.

2. FIP Warning: Some pitchers’ FIP never matches up with their ERA year after year, defying metrics and statistics. Toronto Blue Jay pitcher Marco Estrada is a great example of this: http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/e/estrama01.shtml. Another example is New York Yankee Michael Pineda, although so far in 2017, his FIP and ERA do match up well: http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/p/pinedmi01.shtml

tourists

This is freezing, I think as my left foot dips into the unwavering water belonging to the world’s largest hypersaline lake. The landlocked body of water is a translucent pale green-white, humming only to the breeze. My right foot follows my left, and slowly step by step I’m waist deep in the crystal clear Dead Sea.

Goosebumps collect on my arms and legs but adrenaline-fueled exhilaration takes over. I tap the tip of my tongue with my thumb, and the salt invades my mouth, making my lips pucker. The salt stays and gives me cottonmouth, as my brother laughs at my expression, even though he’ll do the same thing in a few minutes and make the same face.

The salt-littered air sharpens my mind as I walk through the water, becoming more buoyant as the bottom gets deeper. I dip down to my neckline. One rule of the Dead Sea: don’t put your head under. Your eyes will burn for weeks. Slowly, I let the layer of salt on the surface floor sweep my legs under me, and my body and back become suspended, floating on weightlessness. My slippers slide off my feet and float.

The sky is cloudless, a bluer blue than the sea’s blue, the sky only invites the sun. From here, Israel, surround the mountains of Jordan, Egypt, and Syria. Among all these countries amidst tumultuous times, the air is so still and the sound so silent I forget where I am.

I lie among the dead until my arms shiver my senses back. I stand back on my feet, which takes effort. My steps crunch the chunks of salt and slightly scrape my feet as I return to the shore, skin dry as dirt and smooth as silk, shimmering in the two-p.m. sun. I walk to the hotel, a simple tourist attraction, where people from all over make their way to the most famous lake on Earth.

The hotel with floor-to-ceiling glass doors and windows has an indoor pool consisting only of water straight from the Dead Sea itself, except in here, it’s heated. Steam rises from the pool’s surface up to ceiling – the effect of a steam room. I look at the people floating in the restricted, overcrowded rectangle, mostly elderly women and balding men chatting away. My brother and I (ages 14 and 20), are the youngest people here. The Dead Pool folks frolic as we peer through the pool entrance doors and the serene Dead Sea sparkles a halo, just outside, all around them.

CUCUMBER

“I just don’t know what I’m supposed to be.”

“You’ll figure that out. The more you know who you are,

and what you want, the less you let things upset you.”

Bob Harris, Lost in Translation (2003)

SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA

Christmas lights cascade around my head. I wander the neon-lit streets full of college students - men with bowl cuts and plaid jackets, women with dresses and skirts of various colors. A dance battle is happening behind me. The audience cheers as a man spins on his head to the song “Gangnam Style,” that of the viral music with 2.7 billion views on YouTube. A man saunters outside a Korean barbecue restaurant, pack of Parliaments in hand, removes a cigarette and lights it. He puffs the smoke into the air, pierced with a purple haze from a 노래방 across the street. Since I’ve arrived in August, I’ve explored almost every district of Seoul’s streets. My friends are in their freshman years of college. I am here.

노래방 - “noraebang”

a karaoke room, where friends and family meet

to drink soju and sing songs well into the vibrant night.

The signs’ lights fill the streets with pinks, blues, and indigos. Street lights highlight the masses of people milling about. If I look up at the sky long enough, the stars appear, the noise drowns, and the light pollution recedes - a singular dot in a lively world.

A 할머니 shoves a brochure in my hand as she hustles by, trying to lure me into a gun range. The brochure is a small square paper, with pictures of machine guns and pistols and rifles and multiple exclamation points. She doesn’t care who takes them as long as she gets rid of all of them. Four other women on this street are doing the same thing. They offer no smiles or familiarity, just bitter hospitality that leaves me shiver.

할머니 - “hal mo nee”

grandmother, one who provides

love & comfort & security

This time off came unexpectedly. At the time, one year felt infinite - to simply skip one academic year after twelve straight - the monotonous cycle breaks. I am here. Here, sarcasm flies over people’s heads. Do not tell them that, they will look over their heads in confusion. I am, for the better part, alone.

Businessmen loiter on the street. They puff their cigars and guffaw in their suits. They indulge in their barbecue meals and substitute 소주 for water. In a side room is a pool table, glowing green under the spotlight. Obscured in cigarette haze, a gentleman whips his pool stick back, cracks the cue, and shatters the vibrant triangle. I struggle to order 삼겹살. My Korean is passable, but not fluent. When people learn, I receive many looks of disappointment - looks of disgust, arrogance, and condescendence. Waiters, cashiers, cab drivers, and common folk on the subway all know how to roll their eyes. How can I look like them but not be one of them?

소주 - “soju “

 a clear, vodka-like, rice spirit

삼겹살 - “sam gyeop sal”

- thick, fat slices of pork

 - similar to bacon

 - delicious

Another! my friend exclaims, slamming his third White Russian on the table. The drink shines bright white under the LED disco lights of Pierrot Strike. A well-known cosmic bowling alley, this is also where I discover White Russians are very good. I love the coffee liqueur - it agrees with me in taste, but it does not agree with my stomach; the White Russians come back up in the restroom. My friend asks me if I’m okay. Yes. He orders me another. Perfect.

Koreans wear big, baggy sweatshirts with random English words plastered on the front in big, baggy letters. Words like “BEACH” or “building” or “CUCUMBER.” I bet they forget, if they ever knew, the meanings of the words they wear. It is like us in America, where we wear shirts or get tattoos in foreign languages. I understand its appeal, but its arbitrary and a little off putting. I am timid in a familiar but unrecognizable culture. I lost count of the times I have seen Lost in Translation.

Lost in Translation - film, released in 2003

Strangers

 Bob Harris and Charlotte

form a quirky, poetic relationship

exploring the foreign streets of

Tokyo, Japan.

Bob and Charlotte are wonderful together. Lost in the beautiful world of Tokyo, they embrace their vulnerabilities rather than shy away from them. Vulnerability is beautiful. It can grow your heart to twice its size, but it can also shatter it to pieces, glass against concrete. Lost in Translation fills in the gaps of loneliness. Often, I find myself melancholic for no reason at all. I am reminded it is okay to be lost.

vulnerability

noun (plural vulnerabilities)

the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of

being attacked or harmed, physically or emotionally

Meeting women in Korea is very different than in America, naturally. Men are more important in Korean culture, the fruit bearers. The men pamper the women, pay for all meals, spoil them. The women become dazzled and swept off their feet with money and attention. They like to be equated to a dollar value. HOW MUCH AM I WORTH TO YOU? They want to be spoiled, but also want nothing too committed. This of course, does not account for all women in Korea.

Communication is difficult, but not impossible. The art of romance is a traditionally understood culture and procedure, something I did not fully grasp in Seoul. In a country I can hardly communicate, identify with, or befriend, I am truly on my own, in a place I now consider another home, but at the time, could not feel more foreign. I can understand you, but sometimes I do not think we are speaking the same language.

SEOUL INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

Seoul’s airport is one of the nicest I’ve ever been to. It is also ranked the cleanest airport in the world by more than a couple of sources. The airport has multiple food courts, a spa, and private sleeping rooms for naps and overnight stays. Oh, there are also indoor gardens, a casino, indoor gardens, and about one hundred Duty Free stores. The airport is an attraction all in itself.

It is the day I am departing to go to Hawaii. Home. I have arrived at the airport five hours before my flight. I buy some small gifts and books around the airport, including Duty Free, the only place I can buy Parliaments to bring back to the states. I sit down and order udon at one of the food courts. As I pay the check, the waitress asks me where I’m headed. Hawaii, I say. Oh, lucky. Hawaii is beautiful. I wish I could spend the holidays there. Enjoy your visit, she says. Why am I only visiting? Seoul isn’t my home, is it?

As I board my plane, looking out the window, it’s weird to tell myself it is over. During my three months in Seoul I was amazed, inquisitive, confident, hurt, and healed. I will return, but it will never be the same. I miss the beautiful streets, bars, bowling lanes, and pool rooms in Seoul. I miss the curiosity - the urge to keep learning. But leaving Seoul does not mean removing my curiosity - I can do this anywhere.

“Let’s never come here again because it would never be as much fun.”

- Charlotte, Lost in Translation